


The Glow

by aliceisafan



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Sad, Soul Bond, Soul mate, Soulmates, alternative universe, soul mates, soulmate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-11 16:17:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliceisafan/pseuds/aliceisafan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Some series 3 episode 1 spoilers) Set in an alternative universe where your chest glows when you meet your soulmate. Sherlock meets John Watson and the Glow appears. While someone is your soulmate you may not be theirs. The fic follows his journey of understanding what the Glow means and also what it's like when the feeling isn't mutual. A sort of happy ending if you look at it in the right way. Short but (hopefully) sweet. Complete.</p><p>Inspired by a tumblr artwork by lovejustsomething (I think this is the source) http://lost-moonlight.tumblr.com/post/76041327589/satinhands-plankt0n-lost-moonlight</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sherlock knew having John Watson as a soulmate was a purely illogical thing to do and he’d always known. It was idiotic of him to have even let it happen.

The Glow had started to fade in almost immediately in Sherlock’s chest after Mike Stamford introduced the doctor to him. He was initially perplexed at who the Glow had appeared for, but after he learned of John shooting the cab driver for him it grew bright and strong and he made the connection. Soulmate.

Growing up, Sherlock never really had much time to entertain the idea of a soulmate; his body was only transport after all so whatever… _feelings_ occurred, he assumed, would be easily ignored. But it wasn’t quite so.

Each day that Sherlock was with John for – from the first week in London to the final phone call before he jumped off the roof – the Glow was a steady and calm, but noticeable presence. Most of the time, Sherlock managed it quite well. Everyone tended to carefully hide their Glow under clothing (of course, Sherlock could tell at a glance who was hiding theirs) and that was just how it was.

John never made any particular effort to hide his body; he was comfortable enough to walk around the flat shirtless. The first time Sherlock saw John’s chest, without a Glow, a couple of months into their flat share, he felt what he could only describe as numb disappointment. Which, of course, was ridiculous. Sherlock wasn’t _really_ disappointed, he told himself. It was just his body trying to convince him to feel all these illogical _feelings_. The Glow could lie, he was sure of it. He’d seen enough trashy magazine covers out of the corner of his eye to know that the Glow deceived many couples.

Besides, what was to say the soulmate couldn’t be platonic? It didn’t have to be _love_ , surely? Nobody really discussed what the Glow could mean – or if they had he’d never cared to pay attention – and he knew he couldn’t talk to Greg about it without being pestered to no end, so he was left to rationalise the Glow. And so he did. After all, John was his only friend. Friendship was good. He could handle it.

Everything changed when Sherlock jumped from St Bart’s and had to leave London.  As the days and nights passed of solving crimes and chasing down Moriarty’s network, something odd happened. It took time but the Glow seemed to evolve. Where it had been red before, it now shone in a sort of hazy blue which brought with it a cold, hard pain. Somehow it was even more noticeable than it had ever been. Even his new thick coat he wore whilst travelling – nothing like his old familiar Belstaff – could not fully hide the blue Glow.

One night, as Sherlock lay under a cover of trees in a woodland somewhere north of Prague he allowed his mind to wander to places he’d scarcely allowed before. He considered the evidence in his head: first of all, he had a Glow. John had brought it on, undoubtedly he had. Secondly, it was changing – and not in a reassuring way. Whatever was happening to it wasn’t good. And finally…he missed John. This was a truth he had to accept.

For hours, Sherlock lay awake under the trees, trying to work out what on earth was happening. Obviously he felt affection for John, but of what kind? He thought about all that had happened in the time they’d been living together. From when John grabbed Moriarty by the pool to when he witnessed the choked up speech John gave to his grave. Every moment, the Glow inside him had only grown stronger and warmer. When he sat close to John on the sofa the night after a case was solved, the warm feeling spread until it was encompassing his whole body, thawing his previously frozen heart and radiating out so fiercely he feared John would see the glowing through his shirt.

 It was only now – now they were apart – that Sherlock truly let himself think about this. The Glow, the soulmate…what did it mean to Sherlock?

Oh stupid, _stupid._  It was love. Of course it was. 


	2. Chapter 2

This was it. Sherlock stood outside the restaurant, taking a deep breath. Patrons walked past him and through the doors, but he scarcely even made any deductions; a secretly bankrupt businessman, a couple of Glowers, one schoolteacher whose husband had recently been having an affair – they all passed and Sherlock gave them barely a moment’s notice whilst he stood staring at the door.

Two years he’d been gone. Two years without John Watson.  Every day he’d been apart from his soulmate, his Glow had grown colder and stronger, but standing there now he could feel the warmth seeping back in. It wasn’t without hesitation that he stood, however. Of course, he assumed John would welcome him back quite happily – he’d probably faint or burst into joyful tears – but he was still utterly terrified.

 _Time. Time now._ Sherlock thought, stepping forwards and nodding to the doorman who showed him inside. The place was buzzing with an animated hum of pleasantries, music and the clatter of silverware. With so many tables, it took Sherlock a while to locate John in the busy room, but eventually his eyes fell onto the doctor. John. John Watson.

X

It wasn’t the reaction he’d been hoping for. That much was true. Sherlock had anticipated a slight amount of interrogation – mild irritation at worst – not being thrown to the floor several times…and not in the way he used to think about on lonely nights in Continental Europe. But to be perfectly honest, Sherlock didn’t care. John could’ve sawn off one of his limbs in anger and he wouldn’t have cared.  He saw John again. His Glow beamed out of his chest, harmonising with the way his heart soared at the sight of John’s face again and the sound of his voice.

This woman, Mary, was a slight problem, he supposed, but nothing Sherlock hadn’t come across before. He seemed to be more besotted with her than the other string of girlfriends he had but they’d got together while Sherlock was away. Of course he’d wander. That was fine. Give it time and Sherlock was confident John would give her up for a life with him again.

Did he think John would ever love him? He didn’t know. Perhaps John was too good for Sherlock – this was a thought that had plagued him often .  Perhaps there would be something one day. For now, though, Sherlock was content with just being around John again. That he was reunited with his best friend – his soulmate – again, was such sweet warmth that nothing else mattered. Nothing at all.

X

What a trying time it had been. Sherlock himself had been genuinely scared at several points in the past few days, saving John from the bonfire and saving London once again. But still, it felt…right. London belonged to Sherlock and so did John. The world was at rights.

Sherlock had to admit that Mary was more of an issue than he had anticipated. This impending marriage was problematic, that was for sure. Marriage meant John not living in 221B, not going on cases with Sherlock and not being around him. Marriage meant someone else giving John what he wanted. And…babies.

John seemed eager to plan the wedding but there was still time for Sherlock to reclaim John. That evening, the pair was to spend a few hours talking about London and – regrettably – the wedding;  Sherlock felt like it was his chance to see just how deep John was in with this nurse.

John arrived a little after 9 o’ clock, clutching a bottle of whiskey in his hand.

“Thought we could do with it,” John said, smirking. “To build up our tolerance for the stag do.”

 _Stag do?_ If John thought Sherlock would indulge in that sort of tradition, he was very mistaken. Nonetheless, Sherlock took the bottle and let John inside.

For all the supposed control Sherlock had over his “transport”, it only took 3 shots of whisky for Sherlock to get drunk.

“SsJOhn,” he murmured, gesturing to the doctor to come closer, a glass of more whisky in his other hand, “C’meer.”

John, equally drunk (although he’d had about double Sherlock’s “binge”), shifted on the sofa towards Sherlock.

“Whatts it Sherlock?”

“I do a-not, in fat,” began Sherlock, “Fat. Fact. In fact. Think a-you. Sshhhould Mary marry.”

“Mary marry?” John giggled.

“Marry Mary Morstan,” Sherlock corrected himself, swaying on the sofa and wiggling his whisky glass so it was dangerously close to John’s shirt.

“S-sherlock be careful,” John said, but too late; the contents of Sherlock’s glass had tipped onto John’s clothing.

“Sherlock!” John cried, standing up.

“Shsorry John!” Sherlock said quickly, standing up and springing into action, “I’ll fetch Mrs Hudson. Sh- put it in the wash.” He began to unbutton John’s shirt, and before his hands could be pushed away, Sherlock saw it. A glow.

He stood staring at it, dumbfounded, for a second or two. Then he smiled.

“I knew it,” he said, unbuttoning the top couple of buttons on his shirt and pulling it open to show John his own Glow, “I kneeeeeew you’d have one too.”

John took a step back, shocked.

“You have a Glow?” he asked incredulously, “You? Sherlock?”

“My a-soulmate,” beamed Sherlock.

John shook his head, laughing.

“But who? Molly? Irene?”

Sherlock looked at John in amazement, steeping closer to him.

“Nooooo,” he said, taking John’s hand and leaning in, “It’s you of course.” It was only a fraction of a second before Sherlock fully bridged the gap between them, placing his lips on John’s. It was perfect: John’s lips were just how he imagined, his Glow burst with light, the two of them were finally-

Sherlock opened his eyes. John was far away. Too far. Sherlock cocked his head at him, trying to read his face.

 _Shocked,_ he deduced, _Uncomfortable. Not. Happy._

John took another step back, picking his coat up from the arm of the sofa and putting it on while Sherlock looked on, Glow shining revealingly from his chest as his soulmate looked at him sadly and walked out of the door.

X

It was a long week before the two of them spoke again.

“Sherlock?” John asked hesitantly over the phone after calling him at midnight. “Just…come over, will you? Only for a moment, we only need to talk for a minute. But we need to talk about his. Please.”

Sherlock chose to walk to John’s flat; the walk helped prepare his mind. Truth be told, he wasn’t sure what to say. He’d embarrassed himself, he’d probably embarrassed John and everything was just awful.

John answered the door with a nervous smile on his face, gesturing into the hall.

“Thank you for coming.”

“That’s quite alright,” Sherlock replied politely, ensuring he kept a safe distance away, “I can only stay a minute.”

“I had to get you here to talk about this. To ask you about it. How…how long?”

Sherlock avoided John’s gaze.

“Since the day we met, I suppose. It wasn’t something I had much control over. I just thought-“

Sherlock paused.

“You can forgive me, John, can’t you? Forgive an old friend for his foolish ways?”

John reached forward and placed his hand on Sherlock’s shoulder comfortingly.

“Of course, Sherlock. This isn’t your fault. And I’m sorry I reacted like that. I…didn’t know.”

A moment of silence passed and Sherlock took a deep breath. There was something he had to ask.

“Is it for me?” Sherlock asked, his last whisper of hope latching onto his words, “Your glow?” A few seconds passed, neither of them moving or daring to change their neutral expressions, until finally John looked down, and Sherlock just knew.

“Sherlock-“

Sherlock raised a hand.

“No, John. It’s alright. Go back to Mary. Live your life.”

“I’m sorry, Sherlock.”

Sherlock gave a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“You don’t have to apologise. You made me love and I will never resent you for that. You deserve your soulmate, John. Seeing you find her is comfort enough.”

John gave a small smile as he looked up at the detective.  

John nodded, staring sadly into Sherlock’s eyes until he turned away and closed the door. Sherlock sighed and turned away to walk down the road back to the town. He’d see John again, of course he would. There was the wedding, all the preparations, but nothing would be the same. He knew that now, and so did the Glow. Now as much a part of him as his own mind and thoughts, it changed once more, fading into a deep, firm presence and turning a muted sunset orange that matched the sky Sherlock watched as he walked back to 221B Baker Street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was a much longer chapter! I'm sorry it was a sad ending and maybe didn't pan out like you wanted. I wrote it this way because during series 3 I really felt like Sherlock actually was in love with John but it wasn't reciprocated and as much as it broke my heart it felt fake and unrealistic to write it another way. Sorry and I hope you can all find a lovely fluffy fic to cheer you up! 
> 
> P.S. Technically, the ending can be happy if you say that John's Glow was for Sherlock - I don't think it is but if that makes you happy, believe away!

**Author's Note:**

> Just a note to say: I know Sherlock's chest is visible in A Scandal In Belgravia, but let's assume in this AU he always kept it covered. The rest of the episodes in series 1 and 2 are canon to this fic.


End file.
